


My Soul to Take

by HeartSandwich, shuns



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 4th-Wall-Breaking, A Handy Place for Loopy, AU, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Brutiful, Cake Block, Cheesecake!!!!!, Come on in the water is fine, Cosplay, Disorganized, Don't google dolphin penis, Drabble Collection, F/M, First Dates are Hard, HUX is a romantic, I mean Ben & Rey are here, Indulgent Drivel, Just look RILLLLLLY hard, Pass this sucker on, Roleplay, Shahrazad, Story within a Story, Traveling Pants, Weird Plot Shit, and Generally Irreverent Goofing Off, and you should too, because we can, not dead yet, role play, snarky, story telling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-04-24 02:19:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 12,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14345886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartSandwich/pseuds/HeartSandwich, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuns/pseuds/shuns
Summary: In the astral plain, Angel and Demon meet.  At stake are two souls. But the larger question is Love a choice?  Or is having a Choice how you show love?





	1. The Story Begins

**Author's Note:**

  * For [strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie/gifts), [HeartSandwich](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartSandwich/gifts), [5cents](https://archiveofourown.org/users/5cents/gifts), [uselessenglishmajor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/uselessenglishmajor/gifts).



> This is a story within a story and a role play between the Angel and the Demon. Each chapter alternates between authors. The plan is to pass this around.

“Shall I tell you a story?” She asked.

“Yes,” he replied. “What is it about?”

“The only thing that matters, of course, Love.”

He snorted, “I think you meant to say Choice. That is what matters.”

There was a soft rustling as She reclined on the golden couch that had appeared. She arranged her wings so they folded into a fluffy bower of white downy softness.

For a moment his black tipped talons extended ready to rip, shred, and rend all of it until the softness was gone replaced with pain. But He held back. He wanted to hear the story. She knew it was his weakness, He always had to know the ending.

He laid next to Her with His head in her lap as the rest of Him was enveloped by Her. He had folded his black leathery wings around Him. He was careful with his horns. He didn’t want to impale Her, yet. Even wrapped in His wings, His Darkness, when They touched it burned. He enjoyed the gasp that parted Her lips. Her pain mingled with His, finally something They could share. What exquisite pleasure.

They both knew when Light and Dark meet, they consume, leaving only the ash of Dawn or Twilight behind. Neither knew what this story’s outcome would be. She stroked His hair. It soothed as it burned. Now He gasped on the edge of agony and ecstasy.

“Angel, do not toy with me,” He warned.

“Demon, have patience,” She replied.

The space before them was plunged into black. Then He saw tiny pinpricks of light. They were stars. So many stars. “Once in a place far, far away,” She said, “ there was an Emperor...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Berry and I were just fic'ing around and WHOA...We had a full blown AU going. So the plan is to update frequently maybe even daily alternating between the Angel and Demon view point. But Berry and I have WIP's more on that later. So we are going to invite our friends to take a turn. Not sure how long this will go or far, but Explicit tag stays because we all REVEL IN FILTH. 
> 
> For this first chapter I want to shout out to the OG role players [Isha Ren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IshaRen/pseuds/IshaRen) and pr3tty_g1rl5 and their amazing story [Lemon-hot Summer](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13277745/chapters/30382020). It is funny and sexy. But there is one scene where Kylo fantasizes about having [sex with Angel Rey](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13277745/chapters/31139379) in an elevator that just stayed with me. And then it came pouring out yesterday. 
> 
> If you are interested in learning about the mechanics of role play fiction writing Isha Ren gave a [master class in the comments section.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13277745/comments/157254384)
> 
> And if you would like a little more Demon love check out MalevolentReverie's [Coldblooded](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14178555/chapters/32682579).


	2. Angel - She Speaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Angel speaks written by strawberry

 

__

_By strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie_

"A young god," She explained, "a man still a child, bruised and beaten by the World he ruled."

The stars spread to infinite space, innumerable, brightening, until a blue ball emerged, layered in green bundles, Alive and young. She smoothed a wrinkle on His brow as She continued, looking down at Him in Her lap, seeing His wonder, His lips parting in interest and She marveled at the sweetly melting ache in Her finger.

"So beautiful," She hummed, whether of Him or the planet or the young Emperor He couldn't guess but, His eyes flew to Hers as She continued.

"Just a child, always alone, one with neither Light nor the Dark," She went on.

"At odds with his Maker, at odds with his Master, at odds with himself," She puzzled Him, and now He knew She must mean the young Ruler for He was never at odds, He was sure.

He was ancient, He was devout, He was darkness.

Her finger chased the swirl of His ear, the round and divot of His lobe as She continued, the running lit trail lining His ear giving him a shudder as He fought against a twitch.

"Careful," He interrupted, His eyes catching Hers, His talons digging trenches into His palms as He waited to sink them into Her.

"He'd waited sadly, the child Ruler," She went on, ignoring Him, her touch trailing agony, toying kindly, a torture of sweetness, a beckoning graveyard, "never known, never knowing until One day..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie/pseuds/strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie) has three other works besides this one. You can find her hanging out in the comments section here, there and everywhere.
> 
> [North Shore](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14126034/chapters/32551368) She never expected a movie star to walk into her vintage video store but when Ben Solo does, Rey's life adjusts from black & white to Technicolor.  
>  A Modern AU love story for people who love movies, Reylo and love stories.  
> Inspired by Notting Hill & Jane Eyre.
> 
> [True North](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14254167/chapters/32873079) Ben's Point of View, companion to Rey's POV, "The North Shore".  
> Growing up the bi-coastal, unplanned son of two divorced movie stars, Ben Solo was adrift as he moved through his life in Hollywood, until a chance encounter in an obscure place with a brightly shooting star of a girl pierces his life with direction and he finds his True North.  
> *inspired by Notting Hill, Jane Eyre and The North Shore
> 
> [The Housekeeper's Daughter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14010783/chapters/32264853)  
> She's been the daughter of their housekeeper since they were children but, when Rey moves home from California after college, Ben is not prepared for how she lights up his world.  
> A modern AU love story, inspired by the movie "Sabrina"


	3. Demon - Apple of His Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Demon responds and they have a snack.

_"He'd waited sadly, the child Ruler," She went on, ignoring Him, her touch trailing agony, toying kindly, a torture of sweetness, a beckoning graveyard, "never known, never knowing until One day..."_

"His Master appeared," He finished for her.  He lifted His claw, moving it lazily through the air.  The scene before them changed to a resplendent throne room. It was filled with courtiers that glittered and shimmered in candlelight.  The Emperor sat uncomfortably on a black throne.  It dwarfed him making him look like the man child he was. 

"Lightning split the air, rending it.  A hand emerged from the tear, then a second one as the air was parted, pushed apart to reveal a figure in a dark robe. The hood hid the face from view. Power ebbed and flowed around his Master.  Those standing closest drew back."

She had stopped stroking His ear. He missed the sensation as her finger sizzled over his skin. He had invented Seduction, but she was proving to be an apt pupil. 

"A dark man exuding power?" She asked.

"Perhaps," He replied. 

She huffed, "Allow me to guess, he is there to make a bargain for the Emperor's soul."  She paused and raised her eyebrow. "How trite."

He shifted to face Her taking in her bemused look.  She really had no idea how far She had already Fallen.  He was so close to having Her. 

"Bright Star, this story does not start the way you expect. Nor will it end that way either." He smoothed His left claw, the one closest to her folded wings, over Her pure white feathers.  Soon enough they would be shot through with grey and black as they corrupted.  Eventually the feathers would fall out revealing her new wings of black, stronger and more beautiful. Still he would like to keep one white feather as they were now for a souvenir.  A reminder of all they had shared. 

She preened under His touch.  Angel's wings were so sensitive, so responsive. 

"My apprentice, his Master whispered, The time has come to complete your training."

He gazed up at Her, seeking to explain, "The Emperor's power was a raw and unfinished thing. His Master was trying to help him harness it." 

"You must complete your final test. 'What is that' asked the Emperor?  Love was his Master's reply.  The Emperor's pulse quickened. He had never known Love. Lust, yes, the heat of a luxurious bed after wild nights.  But love had eluded him."

She colored when he said luxurious bed. So She did remember. He continued to stroke Her feathers.  They whispered against His talons and the back of His claw.

She smiled triumphantly, "So your story is about Love."

"Morning Glory, you rush in where Angels SHOULD fear to tred."

He continued, "Even as the Emperor's heart leapt he thought to himself 'It's a trap'. He knew his Master.  His Master was never kind. "

"Sounds like someone familiar," She said.  Then She yelped with pain just noticing that his talon burned Her wing.

She scowled at Him.  It made a mockery of Her beautiful face, like a terrible frame around a beautiful painting.

She passed Her hand over the hurt and the singed feathers healed becoming pure white once again.  The only evidence anything had happened was the heavy scent of burnt sugar in the air. 

Over the eons he had found that each angel had a unique taste.  Apparently, this one was very sweet.  Perhaps she would taste like honey or caramel.  Regardless, She would melt on His tongue when She finally Fell. 

He caught her wrist before she could remove it or direct Her power against Him. "Remember who I am," He growled. 

"As if I could forget what you are," She sighed. 

There was a long moment as their gaze locked into place.  Both were playing out the infinite possibilities that stretched into the future from this very moment.  He knew which outcome was His choice.  He wondered what She chose.

She was the first to look away.  _How interesting He thought._  

He loosened His grip on her hand. Then moved up her hand threading his fingers with hers. 

"His Master beckoned the Emperor forward and whispered these words to him. 'Love is impatient, love is cruel. It envies, it boasts, it is proud. It dishonor others, it is self-seeking, it is easily angered, it writes its wrongs in stone. Love delights in pain, rejecting the truth. It always neglects, always betrays, always disappoints, always ends badly. Love always fails.' Yes, your final test, his Master said, is Love. Chose what you Desire or what you Require."

Her eyes had narrowed as he had spoken, recognizing the passage. He reveled in her horror of at the corruption of the words. 

"Now The Emperor drew close. Make your choice, his Master said, " He paused. 

"Well," She asked.

"Well what?" He replied.

"What was the choice?"

He smiled, "Some of the courtiers insisted that he had chosen Desire. Others swore it was Require. But in another flash of lightning the black robed figure was replaced by a bundle of rags. As the Emperor drew closer her realized that the rags were clothes. Dirty clothes on a scrawny girl with a sour face who seemed very surprised she was in a throne room with the Emperor staring down at her."

"Interesting," She considered, "But what did he choose?"

"I'll tell you if you let me..."

"NO," she hissed. Her eyes were golden with fury. 

"Don't be afraid, I feel it too," he said, "The hunger, the thirst, the emptiness."

The fury dampened, smoldered then died. 

"Hunger?" She asked, "I have the very thing." 

An apple, perfect in every way appeared in Her hand. "Would you like a bite?" She asked. 

She knew very well He couldn't consume food. But He would have given anything to take a bite of Her apple. He glowered at her, "No its yours, All-Bright."

She tore into the apple opening Her mouth wide to cram as much of the round flesh into Her mouth as possible. Right before She bit down Her tongue darted out to lick the side. Juice ran down Her fingers to Her wrist and gathered in the corners of Her mouth as She chewed the large bite.

He took the apple from Her hand and brought Her wrist to His mouth. He licked the juice from it then Her fingers. His tongue was hot, and coarse against Her skin. As He licked the last finger clean. She blinked rapidly. Then He handed the apple back to Her.

In the brief moments He had held it had rotted and moldered and was black with corruption. 

"Morning Star, you are just learning of temptation. I originated it. My creatures keep no secrets from me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [shuns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuns/pseuds/shuns) has 4 other works. She subscribes to about 100 fics because she loves reading and reylo (yay AO3 for giving her both).
> 
> [Deadlock](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14310669/chapters/33019062) Set a bit before The Force Awakens and ending concurrent with The Last Jedi, It is a comedy/thriller/love story/pain train about the Knights of Ren and an original character named Keech Favi. It is co-authored with [HeartSandwich](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartSandwich/pseuds/HeartSandwich). 
> 
> [Ben Solos Slam book](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13984872/chapters/32199711) Many Bothans died to bring us these pages from Ben Solo's Slam Book. Watch as he reaches out with his feelings, overuses Light and Dark metaphors and tries to find a rhyme for orange.
> 
> shuns other 2 works are inspired by [uselessenglishmajor's ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/uselessenglishmajor/pseuds/uselessenglishmajor) [Free to Fall](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13323165/chapters/30493680). They are [Between a Rock and Hard Place](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14013777) and [Dinner in Paradise](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13752717)


	4. Angel - Ashes to Ashes

 

 

 _He does not know yet,_ She mused discreetly, Her eyes averting to keep Her secret, _He thinks this complex, He thinks He's Chosen,_ She smiles sweetly at once empowered, Her wings blooming behind her.

She glances skyward, Her wings unfurling and the Throne Room vanishes, immediate, stunning, the floor is earth now, the couch a fruit tree, Her wings drifting behind her again to reveal blossoming branches scattered with clusters of fruit, each more ripe and glossed than the apple She'd swallowed. 

He looked around, not at all surprised, the faintest Amusement shading His features, Her eyes captivated as He beheld all She was capable of Creating at a single thought. 

The pale sky was immobile above them, the boughs motionless in the Tree They lounged in. "The Emporer approached the ragged Girl, fierce and piercing, heaving and precious, afraid to hope, afraid to want, afraid to Choose, afraid to marvel. He was stricken by her Beauty, shocked by her presence and beholden to her wishes, in a single breath."

"Lust will do that," He slyly mentioned, a talon grazing her lip, just a whisper of Touch, blood drawn to the surface as His graze passed, a stinging welt, a bitten swelling. "So he is Choosing, as you can see, this man-child King, this helpless fool."

He relaxes into Her, His pride expanding, content to massacre, enjoying ruin. She breathes Him in while He reclines further, smoke and char, full and cherry, knowing when She inhales Him fully, soon, He will be freed of the ash, the Dark draining from His wings, made silvery, no longer Black, and She tastes sorrow.   
  
_Sweetly dark will then be pearly,_ She already knows, Truth being what It is, unfailing, eternal, _yet, I'll have the memory,_ She's glad of it somehow. 

 

"What he Desires, what he Requires, they are no different from one another," She teaches, as a single wing lifts gentle as a breeze, hovering, pointing, showing Him a Serpent, black and deadly,  Poison and Death coiled under its' tongue. 

He lifts His head, suddenly furrowed, a question hanging above the Tree, the Emporer's Master without hood but still lethal, poising to strike, slithering slowly, armored in snakeskin, reared back in violence, twisted through apple-heavy branches, descending towards the girl - the woman frozen below. 

 

"Watch, " She whispers to Him, Her ear brushing His ear, Her breath touching His body. 

The Emporer speaks to the ragged thing, "it is you," he murmurs, his voice leaden, his brows lifting. 

Before she can speak the Snake arches, it strikes truly, the ragged one captured, she is hurt, staggering lowly, falling, knees slamming to the ground as her eyes flash to the man-king's own, a plea from her lips meant for him only, just a word, a plea, perhaps a name, perhaps an oath. 

"It ruins them all, Lust and Choices," He says delighting, "corrupting fully, Stardust," He tells Her, "he's Chosen neither as he was conflicted and now she's Fallen, his choice made for him."

 

"Has she?" She licks the swollen bottom lip, the one He'd touched, still littered with poison, tart, Her whole mouth quickened by the tang, Her tongue awakened by His shadow there. 

The Snake is gone now, a flash and the Master is behind the Emporer, his hood pulled over his shaded face, "kill your true enemy," he intones into his apprentice's ear, over his shoulder, his goal her murder. 

The woman kneeling, her face lifted towards him, her final breath ragged as her clothes, frozen at his mercy, her power his, "I know," he tells her softly, a gentled codeword, a sigh of wisdom, his chains falling freely. 

The Sword that appeared in his hand, pulled from its sheath no one could have seen, its shape exposed now, its length obscene, its power enormous, its girth a gasp, the Demon's brow tucked in anger, His fury erupting as He watched the Master slaughtered, run through with the Emporer's blade, the Master cleaved cleanly. 

"That is not _Love_ ," He raged at Her watching, "neither what he Desired nor what he Required." _The game has ended, or so He thinks,_ She tilts Her head and considers and speaks in hush. 

"But, Love is not a Choice," She smiled down at Her own hand, not hoping to wound Him, not hoping to slay Him, "what mattered was not what he Chose but, who he always Was, who he was predestined to Be," She says as She opens her palm, the rotted apple core a pile of cinders, in Her grip, " _he was hers_."

She touches a wingtip to His chin, just a hint, only a hum of Touch and as His lips part, His head on Her lap, she fills His mouth with apple dust and watches His onyx eyes intently. 

 

"Temptation is only the soul knowing what calls it home," She hums as He swallows, "a pretty thing You created but, it isn't ever really denied, is it?" She asks, already knowing. 

 

 

 

 


	5. Demon - Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Demon explores the virtue of Hope

_"But, Love is not a Choice, what mattered was not what he Chose but, who he always Was, who he was predestined to Be, he was hers."_

 

Thrice damned slip of a Lightspawn.   HE was NOT Hers.  SHE WAS HIS. He had waited since before the Fall, since the Beginning for Her.  Before She was even an idea.  He had been promised that He would be rewarded with Her, the last of the Angels, the strongest and the youngest. He had turned so many of Her Sisters and killed so many more.  His title 'Angel Bane' had been hard won. 

But it the price of what he was promised was steep.  She would have to chose Him and Fall or chose to meet Death at His hands. 

He wanted her to choose Him, so very much.  

Her smile was triumphant.  Her eyes gleamed with something familiar.  Was that pride He saw there?  Oh how He... what...what was this feeling?  This desire for Her and expectation of Her embracing Him.  It was new ... it was hope.  He was hoping. 

With that realization, He recoiled from Her. Rolling to his feet, He threw out his arm.  His blast of power tossed Her against the Tree so hard that it was uprooted.  She sat up shaking her head. He was gone. 

Then the rain fell.  It was hard, cold and relentless.  It lashed Her. Her gown clung to Her body in sodden folds.  Her hair was slicked to her head and back, it no longer floated around her shoulders as her wings stirred. 

He spoke.  She turned looking for Him.  He was everywhere and nowhere.  He was the rain. 

"He thought by killing his Master he would be free.  He would have both what he desired and required. He believed that the girl was his prize, his destiny. She wasn't."  He paused.  The wind whipped.  It was a tempest tearing at her clothes, her wings.  She drew her wings around her to shield herself, bending her head against the onslaught. 

"The Emperor lavished her with jewels, garments, fine wine, exotic food.  But her face remained sour. She never smiled.  She never spoke. His belief in love blinded him to her pain.  For in making his choice he had taken hers away. She was a bird in a gilded cage, wings beating against the bars in impotent rage."

She was in a crouch now.  His voice boomed, it was huge in her head threatening to fill Her until She burst. 

"She could take it no more.  One night the little bird flew away.  She was on a journey of becoming." 

Then the rain, the wind and the voice were gone. 

She looked around.  She stood up and unfolded her wings.  She shook them and her gown to shed some of the excess water.  She squeezed her hair. She looked around again. 

 

_Where was He?_


	6. Angel - Her Song and Her Skin

 

 _Then the_   _rain, the wind and the voice were gone...._

_"Where is he?"_

 

 

The familiar query circled Her frowning Heart.

 _Again?_  Her soulstrings lilted, Her chronic quandry, a primal question.   
Alone with her Secret again, She gazed at the dark cosmos as she hovered over the heavens. Her toes hung limp, her bottom lip trembled, the chill of empty space through her World, through Her body, through Her universe without Him an endless well calling. 

 _Again,_ She knew. _He has gone Again._

 

She shrugged one shoulder free of Her gown, just the one, just the dip of one skin and one wing, and the Light escaped fabric and beamed a shaft into the black emptiness of the deep sky, a single note, one of pure Beauty sounded. 

Her hair grazed Her back as Her dress tumbled to the planets, past Her navel, past Her center, past Her toes, and somewhere in the Deep Ancient of Time and Stars, She heard a whisper, a gasp, a sigh. 

Turning a circle, as She drifted through the Stars and sky She spun, Her fingertips grazing each Star, each planet as She passed. A note of music, major chords, a melody thrilled to sing to Her played, Her touch bringing Life to every one of them until a Song raised the Worlds she passed, each tone a spark of Light, a harmony raised in might, in Joy, in sweetness around her.   
  
Without a gown but spinning tightly, hands beside Herself, open palms at Her hips, She lifted Her face, closed Her eyes, the music Her touch inspired flung Her hair to the wind, Her breeze as She spun her new brightness, naked in Glory, yet more clothed than in silk. 

He was nowhere, He was everywhere and She turned ever faster, spinning circles above the galaxy, a sparking whirlwind of speed and Grace. 

 

The black of universes flexed and contracted around her, a velvet cape snapped back and forth, a length of cloth to wrap Her frame, and in the distance, a Place unknown still She heard the voice She knew was His. 

 

Each star She spun past, each sharp and flat of music, each beam of Light gathered to drape Her in Beauty. She, no longer naked but, clothed again in Wonder, shining pale in Her own light, her feet once again touched the ground.   
  
Her movement stilled but, Her eyes were closed as She sang to the universe, Her universe, that is, to _Him_. 

 

 

 _You mock me as Bright Star,_  
_Your Morning of Glory._  
_You drench me and leave me._

_But, I have a Secret._

_And I know Your True Name._

_I haven't a Choice and I will be here waiting._

 

 

She opened Her eyes. 

 

 

 

 

 _Again,_ She thought, as Her eyes landed on what was Hers. _Again. Still._

 

 

 

 


	7. [Demon and shuns talk about Details]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breaking the 4th wall. Talking about where to go next. Sandwiches.

Demon: (typing) ... he slid his hot throbbing length into her molten center. It was like... coming home.

Shuns: (looking over his shoulder) what are you... oh my God what are you writing?!?! That is not the direction I want to go. 

Demon: Not the direction? She is naked and floating in space. I think what happens next is pretty clear.

Shuns: What about you inner struggle and conflict? Your journey of growth and discovery that mirrors the raggedy girl? The potential for your redemption? 

Demon: PANTLESS ANGEL IN SPACE!

Shuns: Simmer down, Hell-spawn. I will slap a slow burn tag on this story and not write a word of smut until the word count hits 50k. And at the rate we are going that will be on the twelfth...of NEVER.

Demon: You wouldn’t ...

Shuns: Don’t test me. Why don’t you go do something useful like make me a sandwich.

Demon: Fine, but it will be liverwurst.

Shuns: You want me to give you a tiny, embarrassing, demon cock?

Demon: No. 

Shuns: You know what I like. And if you put it on a hoagie roll I’ll let you have finger touches with the Angel.

Demon: Metaphorical or actual?

Shuns: Actual and if you throw in some salt and vinegar chips as well as a Mexican Coke made with real sugar and I might let you get to second base with Angel.

Demon: (nodding) What if I throw in a cookie? 

Shuns: What kind?

Demon: Chocolate chip.

Shuns: Tempting but no. You are going to have to work to slide into Home, Player. There will probably be poetry involved. 

Demon: (winces) No. Please just No. 

Shuns: You want to cut into some Angel Cake with your sharp tool? Then you better be prepared to rhyme Tall, Red and Horny.

Demon: I won’t do it besides Berry will take care of me....

(Both look over at Berry who is brushing her unicorn’s mane while singing a song about love and soft kisses. She stops brushing unicorn’s mane to feed it a cookie. Unicorn nickers softly nuzzles her, then farts... a rainbow.)

Shuns: She might be awhile she still has to put the matching bows in its mane and tail. Besides don’t you want it to be evil sex.

Demon: Well yeah, I do lo—

Shuns: Spoilers!!!

Demon: Loathe her that is what I was going to say. Definitely loathe.

Shuns: Right.

Demon: Right.

Shuns: So extra long update on Monday with explicit finger touching. Lots of detail. Because you know...

Demon: Don’t say it... Please you don’t have to do it.

Shuns: But it’s funny. Because you know....

Demon: You are so trite.

Shuns: And you are a figment of my imagination who is about to be sent to time out if you don’t stop acting out.

Demon: (blows raspberry)

Shuns: Because you know ... the Devil is in the details.

Demon: You went there.

Shuns: I will always go there. No pun left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry/not sorry for breaking the 4th wall. But Demon and I really do talk about the direction of the story. After editing Deadlock, this is what popped out.
> 
> Deadlock Chapter 2 drops tonight. My two favorite tags: Giant Pussy and Lickjob.
> 
> See you there?


	8. [Angel and Berry discuss Logistics]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breaking the fourth wall. Negotiating potential relationship logistics. Mani/pedi girl time.

 

Angel, looking over Berry's shoulder as she finds her laughing hysterically at Demon & shuns' Chapter 7... 

 

Angel: Hello, sweet friend. What in the heaven are you doing? 

Berry: Oh! (blushing, guiltily closes laptop abruptly) Angel! I didn't see you there! I was...just...uh... _nothing,_ sweet friend. Nothing. 

Angel: It looked like you were on AO3. 

Berry: Oh, _that!_ Yes. I was...uh...writing  North Shore. 

Angel: I think I saw shuns' name on the screen. 

Berry: Oh! _That!_ Yes. Well, I was just, um, really quickly reading something shuns wrote. 

Angel: Sweet friend. Do you think I don't know what it is you were laughing at? 

Berry: .....

Angel: How _could_ you, Berry? How could you laugh? At that? He _left_ me, Berry, _he left me!_ He threw me against a godblessed _tree!_ (begins whimpering) 

Berry: (patting Angel, pulls her into a hug) Okay, Angel, okay, okay. I'm sorry, sweet friend. I'm...wait...are you still naked? 

Angel: (through tears, definitely naked) I am clothed in dignity and strength! Love and beauty are my habitation! (slight wail) 

Berry: (pulls an oversized Blood Bank donor tee over Angel's head, smooshes wings slightly but, marvels Angel's hair stays infuriatingly perfect, hands her Ben & Jerry's pint, leads her to a pedicure chair) Alright, now. Let it out. There, there, sweet friend. Let it _all_ out. 

Angel: (sniffles, considers cherub rubbing her feet while levitating) That _does_ feel divine. 

Berry: (happy to see Angel relaxing, glad to see her enjoy ice cream and pedi, massage chair working) Now. Better?

Angel: Yes. (sniffle) Thank you, sweet friend. It's just, I just want the D so badly. 

Berry: _**ANGEL!**_

Angel: What? Demon! I want the _D...emon_ so badly! What did you think I meant? 

Berry: Well, sweet friend, that just sounds very, very _dirty_ is all. For an actual _angel_. And anyway, we are far, far off from actual coitus. 

Angel: (turns suddenly in pedicure chair to face Berry) What? _Why??_ I was pantless! In space! 

Berry: I mean, people like UST. 

Angel: What the fuck is UST? 

Berry: (sighing) Unresolved Sexual Tension? Ever heard of it? 

Angel: Well, excuse me if I couldn't tell what you were actually writing there, Berry. Your chapters are so abstract, I can barely make wings or forked tails out of it. 

Berry: It's a writing exercise, Angel, and I am enjoying the imagery, poetry, and freedom of it, thankyouverymuch.   
  
Angel: So, what? I'm just supposed to float around in space without knickers and _not_ shag the hot Byronic demon with the big feet? _I wannnnttt toooooo._ (whining)

Berry: Well, I mean, it's not like me and shuns have an actual game plan here. We're sort of just messing around, really. (cringes as Angel looks hurt)

Angel: Sweet Mother of Moses, then why the heaven did you make him so hot? Truly, that was just unkind. (pouts into ice cream)

Berry: Tell you what. You pay for mani's so your hands look all pretty and I'll let shuns know about how lovely your fingers look in case there's some finger touching coming up. 

Angel: We are talking about actual fingers and actual touching, right? Not some more of your nebulous, poetic, transcendental shit, right, sweet friend? 

Berry: Yes. I mean, I think so. (sees Angel giving her side-eye) Yes. _Yes,_ actual touching of actual fingers. Promise, sweet friend. 

Angel: (finishing ice cream) Okay. Deal. Also, I want an iced vanilla latte, please and can you go into Starbucks? I fear to tread there, lately. 

Berry: (eye roll) Okay, sweet friend. (mumbles something about UST and how this fic isn't even a traditional fic and who cares if it's poetic and mysterious as fuck) Just...for heavens sake keep the shirt on. 

 

 


	9. Demon - Temperance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Demon Considers Temperance

Demon sulked.

He could feel it. The bubble was rising again. It was Hope. It was Light. It was Impossible.

He was scared. This was not going the way he thought it would.

He only imagined Her Falling. He hadn't anticipated that He would be the one to change. To want to be ... better.

A pulsar beat out a steady rhythm. Blinking on and off. Sending radiation out to the universe. It came closer. it teetered at the edge of the event horizon. Never changing its cadence. Unaware, oblivious, uncaring perhaps to the encroaching Dark and its inevitable end. He reveled in the next moment; he sucked in the pulsar, the throbbing heart of light. It folded in on itself, and again, and again to infinity. It crushed itself with its own mass. Its light was released as dark radiation and heat. It was a joy to destroy. He sighed, maybe He wasn't so far gone. He was still a creature of the dark. He brought chaos and destruction. Discord and dishonor. Death and Dark.

It was so much easier being a black hole. He consumed matter, light, everything. He was gravity taken to extremes. He retreated to this form when ever it was too much. Maybe He should just stay this way. He could still serve his Master and the Dark. He would never have to see Her again. He would forget. She wasn't everything. _Was She?_

He felt a tug. It wasn't the wrenching pain of his Master.  Or the even the smothering press of the Divine.  This was different.  Insistent, persistent, and near.

He turned toward the pull.  She had found Him.  The game began again.

He saw her. She was naked.

 

_WANTON_

_...SHAMELESS_

_...........Beautiful_

 

She floated through cosmos, a celestial body.  He was wrong, so wrong.  She was Everything.

He sighed. He had no need for breath, but in this moment the longing could not be contained.  The sigh escaped and betrayed Him. 

She turned towards Him.  She found Him.  She turned slowly exposing her form.  Her wings though white shown with iridescent sparkles capturing all the colors. Her brown hair floated behind Her. Her body was golden.  Breasts were tipped with a dusky pink.  Her stomach was flat and as it dipped between her hips towards her sex there was a fine covering of tawny feathers obscuring it. Her long legs ended in small delicate feet. But her hands. As she floated, they reached out seeking purchase.  He had never wanted anything as much as to touch those hands. Even to brush his claws against her fingers.  He couldn't. He would profane a holy shine. 

Then she sang. It was the Longing Song.  He had not heard it since his fall.  Demons lose their songs when they Fall, they can neither hear nor sing the celestial songs.  It was how the Divine had been able to retain his throne. But here and now, the Impossible was happening.  He heard Her.  She sang of Love, Joy, Release, Complete, Fight, and Might.  How did She know?  Did She feel it too?   

She began to spin drawing on the universe to her cover herself, in Dark. 

He could contain himself no longer. She drew him towards her. He _could_ crush Her just as He had with the pulsar.  He _should_ crush her. He _would_ crush her. it was the only choice left. He wrapped around Her ready to squeeze Her into nothingness. She spoke:

_You mock me as Bright Star,_  
_Your Morning of Glory._  
_You drench me and leave me._

_But, I have a Secret._

_And I know Your True Name._

_I haven't a Choice and I will be here waiting._

How? She didn't. She couldn't. She wouldn't. His true name was lost to the eons.  Like the song, He had forgotten what He had been called in that other place.

He materialized floating near Her. Near enough to touch. Her eyes were closed. It made it easier to reach out to touch her hand. It was warm, it didn't burn as it had before. It was beautiful, her fingers curled around his claw. But it wasn't a claw anymore, the talons had shortened his knuckles had straightened and lengthened. It was almost a hand. 

Her eyes fluttered open. He saw it there.  Lust -- the wanting, the craving. He knew them so well. She pulled Him towards Her, then curled around Him tucking her chin under his neck and winding her free hand around his waist. 

"You've been so lonely," She said.

He could do it.  In this moment, He could regain it all if He rid himself of Her. He unclasped his hand from Hers and brought the other from her waist up her body. Touching her as He had hoped to do. He cradled Her head bringing Her face closer to His.  He kissed Her.  It was like eating a galaxy, tasting infinity, holding the Divine. 

Even as He deepened the kiss, He dropped his hands to her neck and squeezed.

Her eyes flew open, widening for a moment. Her gazed locked on His. Her eyes were liquid with tears and resolve. She pressed Herself to Him throwing her arms around Him. 

He was enveloped in Love. He was undone. He was ruined.

He broke the kiss. His hands, his traitorous hands fell to his sides. Useless and restrained by his failure.    

"You imagine a desert...." She said. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a day to gather my thoughts. I spent the weekend napping, playing outside and writing ridiculous science fiction. I got a little science on Demon. Hope the longer update makes it worthwhile.


	10. Angel -  Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel tells a secret

_She pressed Herself to Him throwing her arms around Him..._

_"You imagine a desert...." She said._

 

 

She looked into His dark eyes, wet and wounded, angry and defiant, indignant and enraged, simmering in His skull like a vat of contained fury, threatening to boil over and scald Her but, She continued despite. 

She lifted a warm, white feather from her wing and tilted His chin to see a planet bloom before Them, Their feet alighting on sand as They touched down on the dunes around Them. Her arms remained around His dark, wide form as He glared at Her, barely restrained emotion packaged neatly beneath dark lashes and blackened wings. 

 

"...a desert of endless heat and sand. A Lonely place, a lost place, void echoing to no other Soul, no other Creature, none, returning empty. Boundless desert. You were here. You were here, once." 

She has no need to search His eyes to know She speaks Truth and so she allows Him this reprieve, knowing it a generosity to Him, allowing Him to see the sand and recall his Moment. 

 

His Fall. 

 

He stiffens in Her arms. 

 

"Why?" He growls. "Why bring me Here? Why show me this? I do not regret, I do not anguish, I Fell and I Fall still and I am stronger for it. Strong enough to Take _You_ , at least," He says, a mighty arm wrapping around Her as a vice, Her breath escaping Her lungs in a rush, Her voice muted as He squeezes Her to Him. 

"Look..." She whispers, Her eyes falling over His shoulder. 

He turns, loosening His arm around Her as She slips to the sand beneath Their feet gratefully, air flooding Her thankful lungs, Her wings pulling Her to Her feet to see Him turning to look where Her eyes had directed Him. 

 

A scavenger. 

A young woman. 

Rags. 

Sand, endless, boundless sand and a scavenger. 

 

The scavenger is alone. 

Yet, Somehow she is Not. The scavenger glows with a second presence, half her Soul outside herself as she sits in the sand alone. 

 

"But, how..." He mutters, "the scavenger and the Emporer...the palace...the defeated Master..."

 

"Shall I tell you my Secret?" Angel asks the Demon, as She watches His eyes scouring the sandscape for the Other presence, the One whose Self is the second half of the scavenger. 

He turns to see Her, His Angel, His wish, His prize and His curse. She is clothed again, her skin lost to His eyes, a scarlet robe wrapped around Her. 

 

"What Secret?" He demands. "What could You possibly tell Me I do not already know? I know You, Angel. I know Your future. Your destiny. I claim it as Mine."

 

"Ah," She says, Her eyes lifting to meet His as They face the lonely, young scavenger before them, unaware of Their presence in the sand, "You may. But," She says, "I remember You."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take THAT, shunnybunny. 
> 
> <3


	11. Demon - Gets Grounded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Demon tests his boundaries and gets in hot water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I meant to write something serious. But it just didn't work out that way.

shuns: So Berry left us in the desert with the Angel about to spill her secret. Any thoughts? (silence) Hey I'm talking to you.

Demon: (Looks up from texting on phone) Hmmnn?

shuns: Thoughts on what to do next? (Silence) Fine, I'm going to get a snack to see if that spurs the Muse. Want anything?

Demon: Do we still have Cool Ranch Doritos?

shuns: (from kitchen out of sight) Yeah.

(Demon looks around to see if coast is clear. Unbuttons sexy black leather pants and takes picture of dick. Phone makes sending noise.)

shuns: (Rounding corner) Here I brought you two ba-- what the actual fuck is going on?

(Demon hastily stuffs self back into pants.)

Demon: It was nothing. Just needed to air it out a little. You know leather pants...

shuns: Uh-huh, give me the phone. I need to sterilize it then see what you sent. (wipes phone down with clorox bleach wipes). OH MY GOD YOU SENT A DICK PIC TO BERRY? FUCKING HELL DEMON SHE IS MARRIED. You just got me into so much trouble.

(Demon hangs head, with his red complexion it is hard to tell if he is blushing, but he could be. Phone chirps. )

shuns: (Shaking head) Here she is now...OMG its tits.

Demon: Let me see... (pushes shuns out of way to look at phone. Looks up and grins.)

shuns: Tell me I wasn't just looking at Angel's tits?

(Demon nods and smiles.)

Demon:  She is coming by later to watch Netflix and chill. 

shuns:  Like hell she is.  That little stunt just earned you three days of grounding. Now be quiet I have to call Berry and fix this. (Dials Berry. Ringing).  Hi Berry.  ... I'm fine and how are you?... Yeah still no rainbows here but you never know...So...um... you should check your texts....Demon wasn't thinking (shuns glares daggers at Demon who shrugs) and he took a picture of his penis and sent it to you.  Well to Angel but on your phone.

Demon: Its ribbed for her pleasure and HUGE.

shuns: (covers phone) Shut up.... No Berry not you.  Demon is being an ass.  (kicks Demon in shin). ...So you might want to delete the picture before your husband sees it...Um also Demon says that Angel was going to come over tonight to watch Netflix and Chill.  He is canceling that because he is grounded.... Yeah well he should have thought of that BEFORE he sent the picture...Besides if he wants to be with Angel he should take her on a date...Berry don't make excuses for him...Three days... OMG Berry are you trying to set up a date for them. Stop it. They don't need our help....Oh and you know that Angel sent a tit pic back, right?...(Berry yells at Angel loud enough to hear through phone)...Okay well I am going to go now....Talk to you later too... Be well Berry hope the unicorn gets over her cough.

Demon: So three days.

shuns: Yeah.  That should be just enough time for you to set up a nice date and do some man-scaping.  You are a scary hairy mess. 

Demon: Its a nice pillow for the ladies.

shuns: Said no woman ever. You need to clean it up.  It'll make you look bigger.

Demon: (Holds up phone with dic pic) bigger than this?  

shuns: (hiding face in hands) WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME THIS.  I can't unsee it.  Stop. But for real. it looks like you have a beard and not on your chin. Besides it feels nicer without.

Demon:  You think?

shuns: I know.  Angel will love it.

Demon: (mumbles)

shuns: What did you say?

Demon: Nothing.  Well I hope she likes it. 

shuns:  Here is some scissors go trim that man tuffet. 

Demon: Don't ever call it that again. 

shuns: Okay what about hair nest? No? Pubic pompadour? Man thicket? 

Demon: (fingers in ears) LALALALALALALALA I can't hear you.

shuns: Okay I am done.  But seriously, have some respect do some grooming to tame that hair pie.

Demon: GAAAAAAHHHH

shuns: Gotcha. Now don't ever do that with my phone again.  That's what computers are for.

 


	12. Angel and Berry have GirlTime

 

Berry, walking into living room with stack of magazines, oversized bowl of popcorn and sangria: Hey sweet friend, whatcha doin'?

Angel, distracted, feet up on couch, knees bent, ignoring Berry: Hmm?

Berry: I said, whatcha doin'?

Angel: (silent, texting)

Berry: Angel.

Angel: (texting furiously, giggling)

Berry: ANGEL.

Angel: (tosses head back in a flushed giggle, slight gasp)

Berry: An _GEL_!

Angel, looking up, annoyed: _WHAT_ , sweet friend? I mean...um...hmm? What?

Berry, warily, takes phone from Angel's hands: What are you doing? Who are you...no. _WAIT._ You're not texting Demon. _Are_ you? 

Angel: (reaches for popcorn) What kind of magazines are those? 

Berry: You _are!_ You're texting him! 

Angel, defensively, takes handful of popcorn: _Well!_

Berry: Angel, he's grounded. You heard shuns. 

Angel: I'm not speaking to shuns right now. 

Berry: (chastising look at Angel, arms crossed)

Angel: I'm older. And she's cock-blocking. 

Berry: Angel, for the love...don't you even want to get wined and dined a little? Wooed? Make him work for it? Cows? Milk? Free? Ring any bells? 

Angel, skimming magazine, paying no attention: Demon is lactose intolerant. And I only use milk to dunk Oreos. 

Berry: I'm not talking about milk, Angel, I'm talking about waiting? Making him wait more than fucking _11 chapters_? For heaven's sake, Angel, some fanfics average one orgasm for one person like once every _100K words_!

Angel, thumbing through bridal magazines: (sigh) Abstinence... _BORING_....purity culture is toxic...oh! (holding up magazine to show Berry wedding dress) how do you think this would look on me? Think I can get my wings over it? 

Berry: Now you're going to _marry_ him? Demon? What are you, nuts? Why are you hell-bent on this dude?

Angel: Um, _hello,_ sweet _friend_ , did you or did you not _see_ the picture he texted you?

Berry: I swear to God...

Angel:  Yes, you do that. Oh, and also, Berry, could I see your phone? 

Berry: I thought we were having a girls night. 

Angel: We did. Gimme. 

Berry: _Fine_...(picks up magazine while Angel takes her phone, skims though) oh, sweet friend, look at _this_ one, it would look divine with your coloring!...Look at the lace! Angel! Look! And the pearly buttons down the back! Oh! Angel! Angel?....(mutters while Angel goes back to texting Demon beside her on the couch) I bet shuns isn't putting up with this. 

 

 


	13. Demon is going on a date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demon's date night pep talk with shuns

(SUV parks outside of a Cheesecake Factory. Car stays on. A 30 something woman is in the driver seat next to a tall, broad shouldered man that looks very familiar, like someone in a movie.)

shuns: We're here. You ready for the big date?

Demon: (in human form, shrugs shoulders) I guess... (plays with fingernail.)

shuns: So one more time curfew is at...

Demon: 11:30 (hopefully)

shuns: (eyes narrowing) 11:00 and I will be waiting up for you and you will keep the conversation PG and that means...

Demon: (sighs) No sex talk, no talk about length, width or thickness of my cock, no discussion of breasts or vaginas, no lewd innuendos. Mild violence is okay.

shuns: Make sure you hold the door for her and pull out her chair. (Demon rolls eyes) I thought we talked about the sass. (shuns pokes Demon) IF I FIND OUT YOU WERE NOT A PERFECT GENTLEMAN TO ANGEL THIS WILL BE YOUR LAST DATE.

Demon: Ouch... HEY...

shuns: (Nodding) You smell good. You look good. Go have a good time, Demon Lover. (Demon still sitting). Umm... Hey, its date time. Time to get out, woo and win your lady.

Demon: (tips head back and closes eyes.) Maybe this was a bad idea.

shuns: What the hell, for six days you have been mooning around saying that once you were off Punishment you were going to wine and dine her. The time is now. Get on it, boy. 

Demon: What if she doesn't like me?

shuns: OH MY GOD...

Demon: Will you say it...Please....

shuns: For real? (Demon nods) Okay but no one can know this. It will ruin my rep' if people find out it's only a thin candy shell holding together this gooey mess.

Demon: Secret is safe with me... Christopher Robin turned to Pooh and said....

Shuns: (sighs) "If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you." 

Demon: (Looks towards shuns, eyes searching) Really?

shuns: Really, really. Now stop stalling and go get some peril, Galahad.

Demon: I'll bet you're gay...

shuns: (Rolls eye, laughing) Oh you...love the Python.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry hard week. Juice just wasn't flowing. 
> 
> The Pooh reference is lovingly stolen from Darcyfitz's [The Eye of the Needle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11372211/chapters/25460025). If you have time it a good read with lots of feels and some smut. Send over some love.


	14. Wildcard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First dates are hard for Demons, Angels, and Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HeartS would like to point out this is not ridiculous because shuns stayed up late and she was drinking whiskey and peach water. It is ridiculous because she and shuns wrote it together and shuns is an enabler.

It was date night. Hux was nervous about date night. It was his chance to wine and dine his special lady, Phasma. They had found each other on Adult Friend Finder. He loved BDSM and leather, but she had brought the fondness for masks and strap-ons. But tonight they put the toys away and they were trying adulting on their first real date… at The Cheesecake Factory.

“You look lovely tonight my sweet,” he grabbed her hand and kissed each of her knuckles.

“Do that again I will break your wrist.”

_This was going well…_

“Would you like to get an appetizer, perhaps the avocado bacon egg rolls. They are AH-MAZING.”

“I’m fine with whatever, where is my fucking martini?”

Hux tried to signal the waitress but she was busy fawning over another table. Hux looked to see who was holding up his sweet from getting _exactly_ what she wanted. He saw dark hair, dark eyes, a brooding man excluding, not surprisingly, darkness, Next to him sat a small woman that seemed to have a glow exuding from her. _Huh, opposites attract._ They had lettuce wraps on their table. _Good choice._

“How was your day? How are the young recruits doing?"

“Awful, some cunt was harassing me with goddamn paperwork again. I told him that unless he wanted to be only person to ever be mortally wounded by paper cuts that he needed to STEP THE FUCK OFF. “

“Oh dear, that sounds terrible. But it's good that you're using your words. And not your fists.”

“Yeah, HR told me I had to stop punching the new employees. It’s a policy now.”

 _That was always a policy._ They never had to spell it out before, because it was actually understood by LITERALLY EVERYONE…

Hux looked over at the other table, honestly, the waitress didn’t want to get tipped did she? Pick your panties off the floor, Slag. That man was obviously on a date with another woman. The other woman was pretty and so familiar. Like people he had seen in some movie recently.

“Phasma, don’t look now, I think that man at the other table is ADAM DRIVER… and that woman, she looks a little like Daisy Ridley.”

“Who the fuck are those people? Are they some of your stupid sci-fi if actors again? If you make me watch Game of Thrones one more time, I’m going to lose it”

“That’s fantasy not sci-fi. There’s a difference. Listen, I’m gonna go ask for their autographs.”

Phasma looked disgusted. “You do that, fanboy. You’ll pay for it later.”

Hux shivered but he was ok with that. He loved her punishment. Hux approached their table, he was so excited. He loved Kylo Ren! and Rey! and he was going to meet them IRL! He wasn’t prepared for their conversation. _What to say!?!??!_

“Honestly, why is shuns cock blocking us? Really why can’t you just give me a deep dicking? It’s all I want and maybe a little spanking? You know, because I’ve been a naughty, naughty Angel.”

“Yes, you have,” his deep voice rumbled. “I know, even strawberry was on board with this date. And she spends her time petting unicorns, but she still made time to get you here so that means she really wants us together.”

“So maybe we skip the cheesecake and, um, find a secluded palm tree somewhere here in this mall?" She rubbed her hand on his forearm. Hux really really wished he could do the same thing.

“Skip the cheesecake? What the hell? I’m a Demon not a masochist. Compromise, let’s get it to-go and meet back on the astral plane and I will cover you with it and lick it off with my forked tongue.”

“They won’t find us?”

“No, they won’t know.”

They looked up at a confused Hux. “Hu-hu-hu-hiii…? I just have to tell you that I am SUCH A BIG FAN of the sequels and whatever you were roleplaying right now, I cannot wait until it hits theaters. I hope it’s a rom-com, I love rom-coms. You know, like, Knotting Hill, Four Weddings and a Funeral, and really even thought it's not a rom-com, My Little Pony Friendship is Magic really was magical.”

_Oh my god I said all of that out loud._

The couple stared at him like he was from an alternate universe. He felt his whole body getting hot, and not in a good way. The man who looked like Adam had glowing red eyes. Wow, they could do _amazing_ things with contact lens now.

His skin stopped melting and he felt a crisp breeze, like a lovely spring day. Crisp and cool with the promise of hope. He noted that the woman’s hand was now open toward him.

“Kylo…” she warned.

_I forgot, he’s a method actor. He’s in character._

“Kylo, just sign it so we can leave.”

“FINE. Where’s your pen?” the man grumbled.

They both signed the napkin and Hux clutched it like a treasure on his way back to the table. He didn’t care what Phasma wanted to stick up his butt as punishment tonight. Strap on, butt plug, eggplant. It was worth it. The boys in the Comment Section would be SOOOOOO jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for loaning me the keys to your car, friends. shuns and I had a lot of fun writing this, and our screaming fanboy Armitage enjoyed himself too. Phasma is indifferent but there might be a death if she doesn't get her martini soon.
> 
>  


	15. To-Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux and Phasma take their cheesecake to-go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um. Did you think this was a vaguely Reylo Angel/Demon fic? Well it was, but then shuns gave me rights... and apparently I can't or don't want to write about them screwing behind a secluded palm tree at the mall (or in the astral plane). So here is some Phux that literally no one asked for and probably no one but me wants. Sorry.

_...He didn’t care what Phasma wanted to stick up his butt as punishment tonight. Strap on, butt plug, eggplant. It was worth it. The boys in the Comment Section would be SOOOOOO jealous..._

Hux walked back to the table clutching the napkin to his chest.  _What luck! I can't believe that just happened!_ He was walking in a dreamy haze, and a waitress carrying a tray of drinks narrowly avoided running into him. The waitress steadied her tray and served him a piercing glare but he kept on going as if nothing has happened.

Phasma admonished him when he sat back down. "Armitage, you fucking twat, you almost knocked that waitress over!"

"What?" He looked at her and seemed to regain his senses. "Sorry miss!" he called, waving to catch the server's attention. The returned glare could have scorched an entire field.

"Damn, one of those is my martini. You utter arsehole, now I will never get it." She stared at him icily and he could almost feel a chill running down his spine. He shivered and clenched his ass in anticipation.  _Dessert is going to be good, I can tell._

"Did that get your nerd-rocks off? I still can't believe you did that. What are you even going to do with that? It's just a napkin."

Hux's eyes glossed over. _Sleep with it under my pillow. Tuck it into my pants pocket. Frame it. Add it to the shrine in my closet. Endless possibilities, really._

"Hello?" She waved her hand in front of his face. "Earth to Armitage." He didn't respond. "Hey, arsehole!" She reached under the table and grasped his cock through his trousers, hard. 

He gasped.

"This stupid date was your idea, so you will pay attention to me or I won't let you cum EVER again. Do you understand?" She added a twist of her hand for emphasis. 

Hux winced and then shifted slightly to adjust to the pain. "Yes ma'am. I'm sorry."

"We have been through this. _Call me sir._ I am superior to you in every way and you will show me the proper respect."

"Yes,  _sir."_

"Better." She released him right as the waitress showed up with Phasma's martini. She downed it in one gulp and a look of astonishment flittered across the waitress' face. "Another, if you please." 

"Yes ma'am, right away." The waitress gave Hux another withering glance and walked back to the bar.

_She can call you ma'am but I can't? Figures._

Miraculously, the pair made it through dinner without further incident, aided in part by Phasma's three martinis. When the waitress came by to take the dessert order, Phasma cut across Hux to say, "We'd like an Original and a Craig's Crazy Carrot Cake, to-go."

Hux raised his eyebrows.  _To-go? But what about the rest of our date?_

His mind babble was silenced with a look from Phasma. "If we take them to-go, we can go back to my condo to enjoy them." Her eyes glinted deviously. "And I can punish you for your lack of self-control earlier."

He grinned. She had never let him come over before. "Waitress?" Hux called. "Check please!"


	16. Flipping Through Hoops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux and Phasma's date goes off the rails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We promise that this story will return to a more nuanced, hauntingly ethereal treatment of love, philosophy, and science fiction. But for now sex, drugs, and tattoos.

“Turn left here. Dammit Hux! Turn left now.”

“Petal, the GPS can recalculate.”

“Don't call me that and stop wasting my time! I want to get off sometime tonight.”

Hux thought they were going back to her place; Phasma had all the toys after all. He was driving. He had been drinking tonic water and lime so she could imbibe, but it appeared they were going to make a slight detour before heading home for more horizontal activities.

Their destination was a strip mall with a burrito joint, a copy shop, a pet store, and a non-descript sign that said _Up in Smoke_.

“Is it a cigar store?”

“No, it's a hookah bar”

Hux groaned.  _This is going to irritate my asthma._

Phasma grinned at him, ”Come on, I have to get something for tonight.”

“But the cheesecake…”

“Can wait.”

Hux wasn’t sure about that. He didn’t particularly care for plain cheesecake, but he would rather have disappointing cheesecake than none at all.

Inside, the hookah bar was decorated in early dorm room style, complete with beaded curtains, black lights, and Bob Marley/marijuana posters. Hux could feel his anxiety rising, he was sure he had forgotten to study for a class that he didn’t mean to register for and now he had to take the final without knowing anything. It was his recurring nightmare.

“Phasma, please can we go?”

She waved him off as she sashayed up to the counter, “Hi Boner, how’s my girlfriend?”

Hux looked at her with raised eyebrows. _Girlfriend?_

“Molly’s expensive.”

Hux realized he was watching a drug deal when Phasma took out a wad of cash in exchange for some pills. He had smoked some marijuana a few times at University but he was completely out of his element here.

“I threw in a couple of Viagra too, Phas. It looks like you might need them.” Phasma snorted. Hux tried not to take it personally.

She walked over to one of the broken down couches with a water pipe on the table in front of it. Hux followed her.

“So, what are we doing here?”

Phasma looked at him coolly, “Dating.” Hux didn't know what to say. His idea of dates was mostly informed by John Hughes movies from the ‘80s. When she offered him a pill he hesitated. “Oh come on it's Molly - MDMA. It’s not like they’re horse tranquilizers or something. That shit will fuck you up for days. This is just going to make things feel… Good.”

“I still don’t know about this.”

“Take it.”

Hux sighed and grabbed a little green pill. He peered at it closely; there was an alien stamped on it. “Bottoms up, I guess.” He threw the pill in his mouth and swallowed.

Phasma smiled at him.

Hours, minutes, maybe centuries later, they were still on the couch. Phasma was stroking Hux’s cheek and he was in heaven. Words bubbled out of his mouth and floated away like he was a character in a comic that had a word bubble. He wanted to tell her that, but he forgot how to say it in English so he started speaking Elvish. _I didn’t know I could speak Elvish. I must have traveled to middle earth at some point._

He told Phasma she would look good in armor and a helmet. “You would look like a fucking knight. Shit, it would be sooooooo hot. The problem is that your character would be so cool that the guys would get jealous and keep trying to kill you off. But you just WOULDN’T die because you are the best."

“Too true,” she replied. “What would my name be?”

“Something sexy like Brunhild or Brienne or Phasma.”

“Silly, that is my name.”

“Oh, well it's a pretty name.”

“I’m not pretty.”

“Yes you are, you are very pretty, like a flower, or maybe a fish.”

"A fish?"

"Yes." Hux loved fish;  the iridescent scales, the navigation by magnetic fields, the breathing underwater through gills. He loved his marine biology classes so much. Why had he become a computer scientist? That wasn’t nearly as interesting as staring at fish all day.

“I want to get a tattoo.”

“Of what?”

“A dolphin. It's my spirit animal you know. “

They were WAY TOO HIGH to drive, so they Ubered to Phasma’s favorite tattoo parlor. She was shouting on the phone.

“YES NOW... I don’t care. I’ll fight ‘em… My lov---friend wants to get his first tattoo and it's brilliant….No I’m not drunk...A little...See you then.”

“I’m not afraid,” said Hux.

“You will be,” she said.

Phasma was standing over Jim, the tattoo artist. Hux was sitting on another broken down couch staring. She was beautiful, glowing, luminous. She was like an Angel. He remembered earlier this evening when he saw Adam Driver and Daisy Ridley talking about Angels and Demons. He could imagine it. Adam would be big, red, and horny, while Daisy would be petite and dusted with feathers. They would fight, but be drawn towards each other. Bonded and cursed to be near each other but never together until one day in the desert…

He came back to the scene in front of him when heard shouting. Phasma was looming over the tattooist. She was describing the tattoo to him, pointing at his drawing and colorfully explaining the idea for a dolphin tattoo with an “ENORMOUS PENIS THAT ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY HAS TO BE INCLUDED. Then the dolphin is flipping through a hoop that is on fire while whistling Dixie,” Phasma’s eye raked over the tattooist. “YOU SHOULD BE WRITING THIS DOWN!” she screamed, and she looked about ready to punch him in the nose.

“Oh is that all?” Jim chuckled. "I don't think you know what a dolphin penis looks like. It's fucking scary. You can't unsee that shit.” Phasma growled, balling up her fists. 

“Now, now Petal…” Hux wasn’t sure where the nickname had come from. Probably Phasma’s baby soft skin. She felt like flower petals. Especially, her thighs. She didn’t let him touch her there often. But just grazing them with his fingers was enough to make him hard. “We don't hit when we are mad.”

Phasma unclenched her fist, “But we do bite.” She pulled Hux close to her and bit down at the junction of his shoulder and neck. The combination of the drugs, the fever dream, Phasma’s shouting, and now the bite had Hux reeling; he was gone. He came in his pants like he was fifteen again. He reddened and Phasma looked at him. She sniffed. She knew what he smelled like when he was aroused and unfortunately for him what he smelled like when he came.

“You dirty slag. I didn’t tell you to come.” She grabbed him and pushed him out of the parlor.

They were in another Uber. Phasma was staring out the window.

“I'm sorry Petal. I know you didn't give me permission to cum. I just couldn’t help myself, it was all so exciting.”

Phama grumbled

“What's that Petal?”

“I said, I can replace you with four AA-Batteries.”

Hux sighed. _No cheesecake for me tonight._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HeartS and I love Hux. Like so much. We can't stop writing him. Like everywhere.
> 
> And for the love of God, don't google 'dolphin penis'. SERIOUSLY YOU CAN'T UNSEE


	17. Trifecta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has it really been almost two months since we updated this? OMG June 12th?!!?!?! Time to catch up. 
> 
> (shuns yanks chain on the idea machine, which backfires a cloud of purple smoke and sparks as it roars to life)  
> (Cracks knuckles) 
> 
> Let's do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note from shuns:
> 
> Forgetting about a story is like forgetting underwear -- something just doesn't feel right then you realize what's wrong and you spend the rest of the day wondering if people around you KNOW.
> 
> My excuse is a really taxing arc in Deadlock, because Armitage Hux is a sticky wicket and falling in love with Dramione. (Draco + Hermione = Magic). It took two weeks to get back into the mindset to write this. But I pulled out all the stops. Here is a triple update for your pleasure. 
> 
> HeartS, Berry, wanna play?

**_In a modern apartment building somewhere in the USA._ **

Phasma stood at the door. _I’m really going to do this._ The suit creaked. Loudly. It was hot inside the full suit of replica 15th century Lombardi plate armor complete with a long red cape and helmet held under her arm. She was lucky no one saw her in the elevator ride. _This is so fucking embarrassing_. _He couldn’t just like leather. No, it had to be a historically accurate armor._ They had joked about it then one morning on her fucking doorstep there it was in three giant boxes. _How the fuck had he gotten my measurements?_

She stood at the door, 15B. This was his place. She had never been here. They always played at her house or the club. He had never invited her to his home. The realization hurt. Even though their date had been a disaster, he had been the best playmate in years. She thought this had meant something to him, _to them_. She took in a breath, clenched her stomach to crush the butterflies, and knocked on the door.

No one answered.

She knew for a fact he was there. Even though he wasn’t answered her calls and hadn’t been to the office all week, he had forgotten to disable location services on his phone. She _knew_ where he was. She knocked again harder and longer. _Surely, he heard me this time._

Still nothing

_Oh now I’m pissed._

She banged on the door with the flat of her fist. It was a stupid, fucking argument. She hadn’t meant for it to go so far. He was just being weird. She didn’t know _that_ was a trigger. It’s not like they talked about it. _Shit, we don’t talk about anything_. It wasn’t like they were a couple and had stupid talks about their feelings. _Or I would want to know his thoughts or he would care to know mine._

Besides, he was exactly the kind of man with whom she did _not_ want a relationship. He was too gentle, too smart, and well, _too_ _ginger._ And his temper, she had not seen that coming. God, when he yelled at her it was like he had grown a foot. She would be lying if she hadn’t touched herself all week thinking about how he looked when he was angry and how growly and sexy his voice was when he yelled.

She could have anyone she wanted, but unfortunately she wanted the pasty git who had broken up with her last weekend. _Who was not answering the DAMN door_. He had given notice and cashed in his vacation time. He was smart enough he could find a job anywhere, but she knew why he left. It was because of her. What stung was how he had done it. He ignored her calls all week, and blocked her on email, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. _Isn’t it brilliant that when you break up with someone you now have a multitude of ways to reject them._ She had gone through three phones this week. Apparently, they weren’t meant to be thrown against a wall. _Shoddy craftsmanship that is._

She stopped banging and put her ear to the door, listening and hoping she could hear something, anything. It was quiet. This had been a stupid idea. He had made it clear they were done. She turned and slunk down the hall. She made it to the elevator before the fury really kicked in. _He is going to listen. We can talk like rational adults. And then we will have sex -- loud, angry, make-up sex._ She turned and walked back to his door. She stood there for a moment looking at it.  _I’ll knock one more time and if he doesn’t come, then I’ll go._

She bashed the door with both fists, over and over again, “GOD DAMN IT ARMITAGE HUX, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR RIGHT FUCKING NOW OR I WILL FUCKING BREAK IT DOWN WITH MY BARE FUCKING HANDS. THEN I WILL FUCKING SHOVE THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE, YOU INVETERATE FUCKTARD.”

 

* * *

 

It was a toss up whether Jurowski or Rattle’s version of Gustav Holtz’ _The Planets_ came out on top. Jurowski’s London Philharmonic could get lost in Festival Hall, but for this recording the sound engineers had really cracked it. But Rattle, he just had an affinity for the music. Hux loved his first recording of the Suite, but the more recent update had blown him away with the new rhythms that lifted and thrust the music in an entirely new direction. He went with Rattle's version. He loved the energy and sheer magnificence _Jupiter._ He put on his headphones and lost himself in the swelling harmonies.

He floated on the music of the solar system, bathed in the soft light from the aquarium as the fish swam unperturbed in their watery world. Relaxing like this was exactly what he needed after this nightmare of a week. He sighed as he shifted in the recliner. Millie was making his leg fall asleep.

He closed his eyes. The whole point of his arrangement with Phasma was to prevent things like this, all these _feelings_. But he had gotten caught up in it, caught up in her. Now here he was, hiding in his apartment, lost in music and his imagination. He hadn’t done this in years. Growing up, it was his refuge when his father went into one of his rages or those tossers at school beat on him.

She had been out of line. Even a week on he could feel the tension rise as he thought about it. She hadn’t known that they had made fun of him about being pale. Or that they had held him down and drenched him with white paint. The kids were awful to him at school and the bullying never stopped until he went away to college.  

He owed her an explanation, but he wasn’t sure that he wanted to trust her again, so instead he had ghosted her. _Ironic, the pale boy became a ghost man._ He should be an adult and just tell her, ‘I’m done. Let’s end this. We aren’t good together.’ He knew that wasn’t true. Since Phasma his agoraphobia had dissipated. He had actually started talking to people. He had joined the Thursday night board game group. He could go to a restaurant, place an order, sit there and eat food. When he was with Phasma he didn’t have to think or worry. She gave him that gift. If he met with her face to face, he would be powerless. She was such a force of nature that she swept him away. He would never be able to break it off with her.

Instead, he hid and withdrew into his imagination. Today, he wouldn’t think of her. No, today he would think of Adam and Daisy in the movie they had been discussing when he saw them. Hux imagined them on a windswept plain in bone dry desert with a green sky.

 

* * *

 

_**Somewhere in another galaxy….** _

What could You possibly tell Me that I do not already know? I know You, Angel. I know Your future. Your destiny. I claim it as Mine."

"Ah," She says, Her eyes lifting to meet His as They face the lonely, young scavenger before them, unaware of Their presence in the sand. "You may. But," She says, "I remember You."

The wind stirs the pile of rags, revealing a small dirty head of brown hair, sand cakes one side of her face.

In the distance a dot slowly grows into a figure. He is a lumbering, large man with a twisted face and a homely visage. His cruelty is written in even line, pockmark and blemish. The girl in the sand holds out a small hand.

“My first teacher was cruel,” says Demon. “His name was Rebellion. He found me in the sand. Broken, ragged, lost and unknown.”

The homely man picks the girl up, hoisting her roughly on his shoulders.

They watch as the man trudges away, “And before him? You must have come from somewhere?” questions Angel.

He raises an eyebrow, “There was no before. I am from nowhere.”

“No one is from nowhere,” She says shrugging Her shoulders and watching the scene unfold. “What did he teach you?”

“You can learn only chaos and destruction from Rebellion. These lessons were harsh but they did prepare me for my true teacher - the sand.”

“The sand?”

The wind picks up, blowing sand into a swirling maelstrom. The funnel moves towards the Angel and Demon engulfing them. The sound is overwhelming. Angel claps Her hands to Her ears as the grains attack Her eyes and Her skin; scouring Her flesh. She can barely see through the shifting sands, but there is the girl training with a shaft. Working on machine. Climbing an impossibly tall ruin. She feels time has passed, but it is no matter. For them time is infinite.   

“It was coarse and rough and irritating. It got everywhere. But it stripped me to my marrow. I was remade. Polished mirror smooth, I became a reflection of desire and the perfect weapon.”

“What is the perfect weapon?”

“Seduction.”

Angel snorts, “Seduction? A strange weapon.”

Demon leans in, His breath is hot against Her neck.  His arms capture her waist, drawing her towards him. Bending down, His tongue flicks out, tracing the curve where Her shoulder meets Her neck. He licks Her, tasting Her. He pauses to re-wet his tongue as He continues up the side of Her neck past Her pulse that hammers at His touch. He lingers on the spot right below Her ear. Her eyes close and small moan escapes Her lips.

“It brought you here. Didn’t it?”

 

* * *

  
_**An empty stage with a simple grey backdrop....** _

 

Angel: UGGHHHNNNGGHH.

(Angel enters from the left side pushing a large, plush looking stool. With some effort she maneuvers it into view. She straightens and smooths her dress. She is wearing a short pink satin dirndl dress with frilly underskirt and bloomers. The white apron has blue embroidery and ribbon work. It matches the blue stays laced tightly giving her AMAZING cleavage over a barely there white blouse. Her hair is set in bouncy brown curls. She is wearing white knee socks and blue mary jane shoes that match the laces of her corset and the embroidery on her apron.)

Angel: (Petulantly) I would like to remind you that MEN CARRY THINGS!

(Straightening she jams a bonnet on her head and blows a curl out of her eye with an irritated huff. She looks to the side, grimaces and waves her hand, making a come hither motion.)

Angel: (Whining) If I have to be here so do you.

Demon: NO!

Angel: (Stamping foot) GET OUT HERE NOW!

Demon: No. This is stupid. I’m not doing it. Shuns can suck an egg.

Angel: (Looking at someone out of view. Shrugs.) She is an author. We have to do whatever she writes.

Demon: What about free will? Choice?

Angel: (Mumbles) Not this again. (Sweetly) Listen we exist in the minds of our authors who create and readers who imagine. What could be more free than that?

Demon: (Grumpily) Not wearing this.

Angel: (Cooing) But you are so handsome you even make this (Gesturing up and down) look goooooood. Come on show the readers.

Demon: You really think so? (Angel nods) Well all right.

(Demon enters from left. He is in a black, hairy spider costume.  There is a hood covering his hair exposing only his face with pretend compound eyes on top. The costume is tight on his arms with the lyrca showing off rippling arm muscles even as two pretend ‘legs’ hang down and move as his arms move. His legs are in black tights showing off the muscular thighs and toned calves. The green Converse All Stars complete the look.)

Demon: I look ridiculous

Angel: (Smothering giggles with hand) No,no, no you are one handsome arachnid. You make my spidey senses tingle. (She bends double with laughter at her own joke.)

Demon; (Flatly) Ha. Ha. Ha. Are we going to do this? Or do you need a moment?

Angel: (Panting trying to catch breath, holds up finger) Okay just a sec, but what did the spider say when his web was broken?

Demon: (Crossing arms on chest) Only female spiders spin webs, but whatever. (Sighs) I don’t know what did the spider say when his web got broken?

Angel: He said ‘Darn it”, get it? You know like darning.

Demon: (Face palms) That is almost worse than the poem. Almost.

Angel: (Sitting on stool, crosses legs) Which reminds me, are you ready?

Demon: I don’t understand why shuns is going through this elaborate scene, just to try to lure Berry and HeartS to play with her.

Shuns: (Disembodied voice floats down) Because it’s funny. It’s the only reason I do anything. Now get on with it before I decide to make things more interesting.

Demon: More interesting than this? Go ahead I dare you.

Shuns: (Disembodied voice) Granted.

(With a snap Demon and Angel’s costumes are exchanged. Demon is now in the pink satiny dress that had mostly expanded to fit him, but only just. He has on white knee socks but we can see hairy legs. Unused to heels, his legs are wobbling in the blue mary janes. His hair is in curls. The bonnet is perched precariously on his head. Angel is now in the spider costume and green converse.)

Angel: Oh, this is much more comfortable.

Demon: (Twirling) My legs feel so FREE!!!

Shuns:  (Disembodied voice) May we proceed?

Demon: Fine but I want something good after this. (Sits down on stool. He produces an over-sized paper pad and a long feather quill dyed blue to match his outfit. He pretends to write.)

_Little Miss Berry_

_On a tuffet did tarry,_

_Plotting her fiction today_.

 _Along came a spider,_  

 

Angel: (Pantomimes sneaking up on Demon)

_Who sat down beside her_

Angel: (Jumps on Demon's lap, twining her arms around his neck)

_And asked Miss Berry please come over and play._

 

(Demon leans in smiles mischievously and kisses Angel, nibbling on her lips and very obviously parting then with his tongue, which he then slips into her mouth. As they make out furiously, both make small moans of pleasure as hands begin to stroke each other.)

HeartS: (wanders into view, eating licorice, takes in scene) Wait, what just happened here? I thought they were going to make out behind the palms fronds at the mall?  Shuns when did you do this? You never tell me when you are changing the plot line!

Shuns: (Disembodied voice) Not even a little sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very fond of choose your own adventure. 
> 
> HeartS/Berry take whichever plot you want. 
> 
> OR, 
> 
> To the readers, if this looks like fun and you would like to take one of the characters/plot lines out for a spin message me in the comments. I will be happy to add you as a co-creator and you can write to your heart’s (different than HeartS) content. I don’t want to abandon this story, but I have about 20 story stubs that I started that are burning my brain so I will be happy to share this with anyone who would like a turn.
> 
> However, I reserve the right to drop out of the sky and add ridiculous plot complications and/or characters at any time for any reason to this little experiment, because I CAN. 
> 
> MWHAHAHAHAHAHA -- always Sithing.


End file.
